She's JV to your varsity
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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