Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
