Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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