Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
