did you get engaged???
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
