I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
