i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
