Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize