Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
