You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
