you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
