my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
