she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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