You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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