6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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