I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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