I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
