My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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