Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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