We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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