I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
