Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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