i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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