Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
