The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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