Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
