I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
