We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
