either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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