if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
