Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
