Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
