operation have a gay friend backfired
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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