you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
