Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
