Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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