Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
