I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
