This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
