dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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