you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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