Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
