I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
