We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
