just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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