I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's shark week go big or go home
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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