I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Text me some of your sweat
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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