talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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