super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
