i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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