I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
