Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
