The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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