Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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