How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I need to calm my uterus...
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