worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
