i permit you to call me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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