Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we should paint friendship bongs
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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