GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
