Please, let me fuck your mom
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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