dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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