My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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