Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize