Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
