just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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