I accidentally burped into my bong.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Can you bring me the toilet please
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
