So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
