so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
