y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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