On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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